One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
