I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
