I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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