he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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