her vagine was all disorganized.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
