Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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