I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
