I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
