i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
