let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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