She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
