So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize