When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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