I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
