that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
