I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize