I need help removing her.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
