well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
