Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
