Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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