yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Couch. On fire.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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