dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
