Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
accomplished twins. life is a go
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
