I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
