I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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