Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
