Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
