and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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