Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize