hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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