id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
