he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
