u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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