Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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