I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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