I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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