Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
