I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
