too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize