She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
