i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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