Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
love makes seman taste better
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
