Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
