I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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