Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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