I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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