dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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