The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
