Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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