went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All the doctor said was why
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
