Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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