butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
farters have to be the big spoon...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
