Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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