First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
