This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
