My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
