what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Couch. On fire.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
