how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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