Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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