Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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