I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
