ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
