It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
