We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
