I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
