Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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