my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
