you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
