mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
50% drunk capacity currently
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
