Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
