Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize