You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She even gives head with a lisp.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
