i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
