If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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