so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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