my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
