On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
