It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
