Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
