All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
